“They carried the common secret of cowardice barely restrained, the instinct to run or freeze or hide, and in many respects this was the heaviest burden of all, for it could never be put down, it required perfect balance and perfect posture.” (O’Brien Pg. 20)
This bit of the book stood out to me because of how O’Brien describes cowardice. I have gone through a lot to get familiar and even invite cowardice over for a cup of coffee. So, know what he means by keeping “perfect balance and perfect posture.” Trying to control your emotions throughout the day and hope that no one can tell that your actually falling apart. Keeping your head up and pretend that “it” doesn’t bother you.
These soldiers had to fight everyday to stay alive and keep their heads up regardless of the pain and fear that they hid. Now this sentence also makes me think, if in order to stay alive you hide to hide what you actually felt to stay alive, could that lead to violence acts in order to look brave?
I have a friend that I have grown up with since elementary school, and she's living through hell because she won't speak up. She hides her fear in order to not put her family in danger. But what good is that if she can never live in peace and her children abused? Thousands of woman are beaten, killed, raped because not of their cowardice but because of the cowardice of others. War is the same horrible crimes are made because you can’t show that you are afraid, be strong for the troops. You do need to be strong and put things into perspective but that does not justify the things done in war. War is a messy you never know where you might find yourself, the murderer or the victim.
O'Brien brings up cowardice many times in his stories. At the end of "On the Rainy River" he writes, "I survived, but it's not a happy ending. I was a coward. I went to war" (O'Brien, 61). I liked that first story. It seemed to trudge along and get bogged down in the "things", which I think was the point. It was war, not some grand, brave, heroic endeavor. It was just making it day to day.
ReplyDeleteI can see that this is a very personal topic for you and for your friend. I don't take that lightly (I used to work in a women's shelter in my hometown) but for the purpose of this post I think the direction was meant to be more analytical and less personal. What does O'Brien think of cowardice? Is it a recurring theme in his stories?
Sometimes it helps to read an essay out loud. If you read it to another person it is even better. There were spots I had to read over a couple of times to get your point. We know what we are thinking but sometimes it doesn't come out that way. Someone else listening might pick up on that.
Laurie B
Ana,
ReplyDeleteLike Laurie stated there are a couple of grammar and missing words which makes reading your post a little hard.
I am not sure if I agree with you about the fact that the soldiers showed cowardice when they had to hide their fear and keep on going. I think instead it was courageous that even though they were scared and didn't want to go to war or fight in the war they were already at the put on a brave face and did it anyway.
Denise
Ana,
ReplyDeleteI like how you applied what you read to your own life. Sometimes that is the only way to make sense of things that we can't even begin to understand. Cowardice is complicated. Soldiers feel that they have a responsibility to be brave even if they are trembling scared on the inside. They have to be strong for their fellow soldiers and for their families even if in the end there is no thank you in store. I agree with you on your views on this subject and I think it takes courage to write about it too.
Noel